POLYGAMY IN ISLAM
By Khadija Watson

  One of the least understood and most hated by non-Muslim, aspects of Islam is the allowing of Polygamy. Before looking into polygamy in Islam let us take a brief over view of polygamy past and present

Let's start with the Biblical background of polygamy: Genesis 25:1 states, “Then again Abraham took a wife and her name was Keturah.” No Muslim, Christian, or Jew would say that Abraham known as “The Friend of God” was immoral. Yet he had 2 wives at the same time Sarah and Hagar and after the death of Sarah he took Keturah. He had altogether 8 sons including his first born by Hagar, Ismael and his second son Isaac by Sarah.

Jacob had 2 wives Leah and Rachel, as did many of the Judges, Prophets and Kings. King David and Solomom both had many wives. Solomon, at lest according to the Song of Solomon 6:8 had 60 Queens, 80 concubines and maids without number. Some even estimate that he had as many as 700 wives and 300 concubines.

The Encyclopedia Biblica states: that the Talmudists could have as many as he could afford, the ordinary Jew 4 and Kings 18 in number.

By the 11 th century, 500 years after the revelation of Islam, polygamy was expressly prohibited in Judaism.

At the time of Jesus it was sanctioned and Jesus himself never ruled against it! 1Timothy3:2 states, “An Overseer, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife…”

Today in the West we see polygamy practiced in varies forms. Exceeding number is the fact that many married men keep live in girlfriends and mistresses. When they tire of each other because there is no legal commitment they go their separate ways, irregardless if the relationship produced a child. We are all familiar that the Mormon (Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) are practicing polygamy even though this is ruled out by the Law of the land. Many men and now days women in the West, get married while still married to another, they call it bigamy.

What makes Islam different and why is it sanctioned?

Allah allows for the man to take up to 4 wives at one time, He does not command it rather he permits it. And there are specific rules and regulations governing such.

Allah says in chapter 4:3 of the Holy Quran,( Surah An-Nisa) “…then marry women of your choice two, three, or four: but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one…”

First of all there is a limit 4. Before Islam and in many parts of the world a man may take as many wives as he wishes, but Allah has set a limit to 4. And you must deal with them in a fair and just way. The man must divide his time equally between his wives, for each day he spends with one he must likewise give the same amount of time to the others. He can not show favoritism to one over the other, even if he feels in his heart more love to one then the other he is not allowed to express this or show it in front of the others. He is not allowed to touch or display any emotion for one in front of the others, this is not an orgy If he gives a gift to one he is obliged to give the same or money equal to that amount to the others. Their housing must be in accordance to what is appropriate for the size family they have and may not be substandard to the others. Or they may live in one house but must have separate bedrooms The financial responsibilities of course will depend on the number of children each wife has. Of course if one has 5 children and another none then it is only fair to the man to realize that there is more financial obligation to the larger family. If there is a need in one house and not another, say like for instance one needs a new refrigerator then he is not obliged to buy a new one for each family. Common sense prevails in many instances.

While many Westerners are feeling sorry for a woman that has one or several co-wives I can assure you it is not necessary. First of all the woman has agreed before marriage to a multiple marriage. The man must inform her before marrying her to the number of wives he already has, failer to do so is grounds for divorce. He is not obligated to ask permission from the other wife or wives before taking another wife. Like wise a woman can not divorce a man for the reason that he has taken another wife, because her wishes does not supercede what Allah has allowed.

Why would a woman agree to a polygamist marriage and why would a man take more than one wife?

When we look at the population as it stands today for every one man there are seven women. If people truly followed a monogamy only one in six woman would ever get married. Where does that leave the woman, her sexual desires or the fulfilling of the maternal instinct to want to bear children? Where does that leave her if she is divorced or is a widow? If we look at the genocide that is taking place in Palestine and what happened in Kosovo and now happening in Iraq , who will take care of these women and children? Polygamy can be a blessing of kindness and compassion towards the woman. What if the woman is ill or has a chronic illness, she loves her husband and he loves her but she is unable to fulfill her duties and responsibilities to him? Would it be kind or wise to desert her or divorce her just when she needs her husband most? What if she is barren and the husband wishes for a child? Islam offers an alternative solution to many of these real problems that exist.

Islam recognizes sex and sexual needs of both partners, sleep, eating and sex are the strongest drives in human beings. So there is no need to over look the fact that men have a stronger sex dive then women, this is a medical fact. Polygamy is an answer to this while forcing the man to accept the responsibility that goes with it. Islam forbids the causal sexual attitude prevalent in society today. Polygamy may not be for everyone and no one is force to accept it just because you are a Muslim. However, it is recognized and accepted for the benefits that it offers to society and the solutions it provides for.

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